Friendships at the workplace, By Emeka Oparah

The workplace is a veritable platform to make friends and build relationships. Many have even met and married their spouses at the workplace.

Such is the level of intimacy that can be developed in the workplace, when conducted openly and managed like professionals. Indeed, many have built family relationships right from the workplace and children of co-workers have been involved in some of these long-lasting, sometimes everlasting relationships.

Conversely, some not-so-good relationships have also evolved at the workplace. Some workplaces are toxic. Some coworkers are toxic. They are unfriendly, unhelpful, aggressive, too competitive, even manipulative. I’ve seen the different types in my over 30 years of professional work.

You will definitely be disappointed, if you expect everyone you meet in the office to become your friend. Such expectations lead to disappointments and heartbreaks. Some people will never like you no matter what you do. They are either naturally toxic or they are intimidated by you-your presence and achievements-or plain envious or all of the above.

Some people are naturally unhelpful and brutal. Some are suspicious of everything and everyone including their shadows. Some are manipulative, crooked and dirty. Such people must be identified and avoided and reported and exited from the workplace. Their negative energy can be infectious and destructive.

I dare say most of my close personal and family friends are those I met and made over 20 years ago. In some sense, it also has to do with the work environment, the corporate culture.

For example, Cadbury Nigeria, back in our days, said and did a lot about a family culture. It encouraged competition and performance but also promoted family ideals, friendship and cooperation.

Over 20 years after I left, my former Cadbury colleague and I have remained in touch, some in close touch. Our families (spouses, children and even extended relatives) are known to one another. We even travel to our various hometowns and villages to celebrate important occasions.

It cannot be denied that people would naturally help and support their friends to succeed neither can it be ignored that some friendships can be counterproductive. It’s all about striking a good balance. It’s about keeping things professional and ethical. It’s about focusing on the main objectives of coming to the workplace-“the real reason we are here”.

As I have already premised, we’ve come to the office to work, not necessarily to make friends. If along the way a good friendship develops, please enjoy it. Otherwise focus on your job. Be respectful and polite-and above all, be professional. Be cooperative when you are part of a team. Help others as much as you can, especially those whose success depends on you and vice versa.

-Oparah is Vice President Communication and CSR, Airtel Africa